is your mom at the bar?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
