He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
