i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
