i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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