me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
