If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
