I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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