its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
id be glad to
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
cat food counts as protein by the way
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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