OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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