you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
