Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
