You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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