I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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