I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
