We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
