Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
