I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
