Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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