So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Randomize
