you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
