Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
