You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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