Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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