I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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