no you cant smoke seaweed
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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