Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
