This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
