He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
