STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
