I think im going to throw up on grandma
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
