I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
