I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
