saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
