Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
