farters have to be the big spoon...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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