I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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