sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
