I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you have to choose: penises or morals?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize