I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You are a genius and a whore.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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