just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
