my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
