i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize