Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
