im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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