She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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