p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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