dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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