HIV tests are more positive than that guy
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
