we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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