I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
