is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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