I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize