I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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