so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
