My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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