My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He literally asked permission to hit on me
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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