did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
