life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
