I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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