it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
