would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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