I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
