it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
